Reply to Tired of “sophisticated” friends of my 4th grade DD

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[quote=Anonymous]I am a strict mom but have some different perspective on some of this stuff. Honestly, I think we are at the same school as OP. 
My girls aren’t allowed crop tops, but I have allowed cropped sweatshirts (as a birthday gift from Lulu) - and they can wear full length shirts underneath. I’m not particularly panicked about Lulu or Sephora. They both have extensive chores and receive an allowance for them - and they pay for a lot of this stuff themselves (also with money they get for birthdays or Xmas from extended family). They are responsible and have bank accounts where they save their money. Sephora buying is mostly lip gloss, sol de janiero sprays (slight step up from bath and body works I guess but ugh!) and skincare products like bubble that are ok for kid skin.

Both of my girls started dance in pre school and had to wear makeup for recitals - I’ve explained what I absolutely do not want to see (raccoon eyes, eye liner, etc) - so if they want to swipe some blush and lip gloss on before school I just don’t think it’s a big deal.
My older DD has a phone in sixth - but I’ve chosen to lock it down and have monitoring software all over it. All text messages come to my phone as well. Screen time is 90 mins a day - no social media- but she is allowed to text and FaceTime friends. Phone goes dead at 9 pm and doesn’t re open until 7 am. For my kids, handing them a phone in eighth and allowing them to go wild with it wouldn’t work - so we are gradually easing into things while they show me they are mature enough to handle it. With both, I’ve allowed YouTube this year - and I can track their searches and videos on monitoring software - I won’t allow tik tok or instagram etc probably until early eighth or right before high school. I also like the phone for safety reasons - the Apple Watch signal was never as reliable as I liked and with things like sleep overs, school dances, and more freedom I like that they can contact me.
 
I do think fitting in is important at this age - but it can be done with some tweaks that keep them safe and also allow them to learn the skills they’ll need eventually in high school to manage all of this.
Honestly the biggest issues I see are with kids wearing Apple Watches or who have iPads - those kids are the one who’s parents don’t seem to be monitoring and are swearing or sending inappropriate things - or they’ve figured out how to out discord or tik tok on their laptops/chrome books. I am floored by a lot of the stuff I see but I think it’s very naive parenting.[/quote]

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