Reply to why does my inlaws intense love for my kids bug me so much?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP isn’t describing adoring grandparents, she’s describing obsessive anxious grandparents. Obsessive behavior triggers annoyance or red flags with normal people. It feels off, something is not right etc. No one enjoys being the receiver of someone else’s anxiety. Sometimes it’s benign and other times it’s something to watch out for more weird behavior.

I have a relative who is obsessed with their little dog. I could write OPs post just inserting dogs name, dog mommie for grandparent and latest trick or poop for speech. It’s annoying because it’s weird. It’s benign to us because it’s her life. The worst for us is having to look at ten thousand dog photos and say uh huh a lot during dog raving monologues.

If it were my kids, I would feel uneasy about the obsession. What happens when the kids get older and spend less time with them? Will they be able to adjust or will they throw fits and try to smother them?

The over the top worrying whenever they are sick is them forcing their anxiety on you. This is annoying. If anything serious ever happens, these types make it worse by really falling apart when you need support. [/quote]

I agree with most of this, though I am not sure of the diagnosis.   My DC's paternal grandparents are like this, and once my daughter reached her older teen years, it felt inauthentic and uncomfortable to her.  It was ok when they were younger, but it's hard to have a real relationship with people who see you as an object of obsession who can do no wrong, as opposed to a real person.  They were the same way with DH, and he only has a very surface-level relationship with them, despite being brought up told he was "amazing" and "the best" and could do no wrong.  It actually caused a lot of social and emotional problems for him.  [/quote]

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