Reply to Why do some women think it's acceptable to get engaged without a ring?

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Reply to "Why do some women think it's acceptable to get engaged without a ring?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You may be wrong, you may be right. Depends on the circumstances. I do think that a lot of men have been sort of gaslighting (not the right word but something like it) women into thinking that wanting some material symbol of commitment is materialistic and high-maintenance. Meanwhile they're lusting after sports cars, ha. [b]These women are being a little bit pick-me[/b].

But some are just bucking tradition and have a strong sense of self-worth. [/quote]

JFC to the bolded. They are being a picky me for NOT caring about rings?[/quote]

+1 I think the poster meant “pick me” as in conscious social signaling to try to get guy to pick you over other girls. But it’s not like I was making (and him watching) TikToks about it before we went of a first date. To have an engagement ring or not, it is a private decision for the couple. [/quote]

I'm the poster who mentioned that it can be pick-mes who are okay without a ring. I don't know what TikTok has to do with it? Having low standards significantly pre-dates Tiktok.

But anyway, I suspect that PP who was aghast at my comment doesn't know a lot of women without a strong sense of worth who convince themselves to be okay with very low standards from men. If a guy is making comments like "women are so materialistic" and "if you need a physical representation of my commitment that means you don't trust me" or stuff like that, then he is probably marrying someone with low standards and is a bit of a pick-me. There are all sorts of manifestations in something like this, like a woman being willing to play wife for a long time before getting married, a man refusing to put effort into vows, etc. And of course a fancy ring doesn't mean the guy will be a great husband, but a guy who is affronted at a woman's expectation of a ring is highly likely to be a bad husband.

Like I said, OP could be right about these people, and she could be wrong. I wanted a ring but my husband was a student and had very little income, so I basically bought it with my own money. I'm sure some people would think I was a fool for doing that. :) [/quote]

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