Reply to Please explain to me what a pick-me girl is

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Commenters are conflating Pick Me with Not Like Other Girls[/quote]
What is the difference? I always thought that "Not like other Girls" was the (or one of the) defining features of Pick Mes. "Pick me because I'm not like other girls."[/quote]

Yes, it's describing the same phenomenon. A hallmark of the pick-me girl is the idea that she is better than other women because she doesn't follow the crowd and do what "all" the other women do. This is why the actual qualities of a pick-me can change depending on the trends at the time or the community in which she lives. So a pick-me can be any sort of woman:

- Among a group of women who like brunch and rosé and getting their nails done, a pick-me might style herself as "one of the guys" who prefers beer and sports 
- In a community where most women are career-focused and ambitious, a pick-me might frame herself as an aspiring "trad wife" with traditional values
- If most women around them wear makeup, dye and straighten their hair, etc., a pick-me might emphasize that she's "natural" and not into artificial enhancements

The most aggressive pick-me I ever met actually cycled through multiple versions of pick-me-ness in the years I knew her, in order to try and stay one step ahead of the women she viewed as her competitors for men, and also in an effort to better align herself with the kind of guy she wanted to land (ultimately, someone with a high paying job who could support her). I watched her become the chill girl who is go with the flow (unlike all those uptight women who need to label everything), then the sporty girl who just loves cheering on her [boyfriend's] favorite sports team (unlike those boring women who are indifferent to sports), then the more traditional woman who wants to stay at home with her kids and cook for her husband because that's just inherently what she enjoys (unlike those selfish women who want to work on their own careers and let other people take care of their kids). Over the course of these transformations, I heard her assert completely opposite things at different times, as she hunted for the right combinations of attributes that would land her the best possible man. It was nauseating, especially because I at no point felt I was competing with her for men (I was in a relationship the entire time), but did not enjoy being used as a point of comparison for the kind of woman she was not, on various occasions, in order to help her entrap her eventual husband. No thank you.[/quote]

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