Reply to Broken Marriage, Different Places on Where to Go

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Any living situation can work, if you are both on the same page. 
You seem to want the roommate/coparent option, which is valid. I’m not getting g what spouse wants - you say you both have ruled out divorce -  to work towards getting back to a real relationship?
I guess you can talk more to diss out if spouse wants something. Maybe they are on the same page as you are, but are just grieving the loss of relationship/options. [/quote]

Yes, they want some sort of relationship, but again, they acknowledge things have gone too far to ever be like a traditional, loving marriage. I guess they still want some degree of intimacy and emotional support that I'm unable, or at least unwilling, to provide.[/quote]

Can you fake it? Just to make the marriage more bearable since you don't want a divorce. [/quote]

We can fake it fine in front of others, but I physically recoil at her touch, and her voice is like nails on a chalkboard. I can't fake any actual feelings of emotional connection to her beyond resentment.[/quote]

Can you give more of a sense of what led to this point, OP? Did she have an affair?

As someone divorced, not my choice, with a SN child, it can be devastating. My child suffered additional anxiety and EF issues due to the change in lifestyle. Some therapies could no longer be afforded and the planned for special needs trust never was funded. It's hard to live with that. Ex cheated as a form of escape then left to be with one AP (didn't last and also put job and insurance at risk).

I'm not sure being roommates is tenable over the long term. Attempting to repair the marriage would be optimal. Have you tried a Gottman trained counselor? SN marriages have so much extra stress and that ideally is addressed head on. [/quote]

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