Reply to Michelle Singletary - WAPO finance expert has three failure to launch kids in their 20's living at home

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly, it seems like a reasonable and responsible set-up.  Taking what she says at face value, they contribute to the household and are saving.   I assume she lives in the DC area - rents are ridiculously high.

[b]I find this set up a whole lot less off-putting than parents helping their adult MC kids with a down payment [/b]or daycare expenses. [/quote]

That's interesting because I think this is the less-rich version of the same idea.  DH lived with his dad for 6 months and took the train in to work every day from the outer burbs to save up his down payment.  His dad wanted to help him out, but also didn't have tens of thousands to give him for the down payment.  If he were a richer supportive dad, he would have probably written a check, and if he were unsupportive he wouldn't have opened his home to him.

Same with daycare expenses - I know lots of lower-income families where grandma watches the kid/kids for free, a *lot*.  They can't afford to subsidize a nanny, but they know how hard it is on their kids and help how they can.[/quote]

PP here.  Agreed.  I should have clarified that I meant in the case of 30-something adults wanting to live in a nicer home than they could afford or so they could have more fun money - effectively skipping over a starter home or budgeting when starting out.  I realize it might seem silly to have to go thru that if your parents are willing to subsidize you, and I can’t put my finger on why I think it’s off-putting in a way adult children still living at home isn’t.

And I agree that it’s a lower-income version of this.

I came back to say, this is how families without intergenerational wealth start generating intergenerational wealth.

I wonder how many of the posters who are sneering at it had parents who helped set them up for adulthood in other ways (no/low student loans, generous annual gifts, covering cell phones and insurance etc -  all of which I had, so no shade). [/quote]

The 30 somethings having parents help is most likely "more off putting" because you are jealous and wished that you could have someone help.  For many families, why would we make our kids and grandkids "struggle" if we can easily help out.  Why do you need the starter home and live in it for 5-7 years, when you can start in a better home (not talking luxury) that can be your 25+year home, with space for 2-3 kids, a guest room/office and with decent schools?  As long as the kids are not living extravagantly, why would a parent who can afford it not help with a $100-200K/downpayment so they can live in a somewhat nicer home? 
For us, our kids will get 10-15M each when we die.  So why not give them $200K for a home downpayment (or more) when they are ready to get into real estate? Let them live closer to their job and in a good school district so our grandkids (future in our case) have better things in life? 
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