Reply to This is weaponized incompetence, yes? What to do about it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, it is the pretending that would make me crazy. My husband and I definitely divide stuff up by strengths and weaknesses and also each manage to avoid the things we hate the most.

But neither of us is literally pretending we don’t know how to work the washer/dryer or dishwasher.

What would he do if you died? I think I would propose that question to him? Like is he never going to vacuum the house again? Would your kid just eat cereal for every meal? Is he going to remarry within 6 months??[/quote]
NP here.  My DH will do things like what OP describes in some areas, and I don’t think he’s  feigning ignorance.  It’s like there are parts of his brain that can’t make sense of certain tasks, and there is a lot he doesn’t notice at all.  We did a large renovation recently, and the contractor came to find me after chatting with DH briefly.

He looked completely bemused and said “[b]Your husband doesn’t know where your electrical panel is. Or your main water shutoff valve.  I asked where we could get access to the attic, and he said he wasn’t sure if your house has an attic.”  [/b]

My 10 year old was also bemused early on in the pandemic when DH asked him how to use the washing machine, which we’d had for a decade at that point.  He also can’t make a meal more complicated than cereal without getting completely stressed out.

Like OP’s my DH is great with most aspects of parenting and a lot of household management stuff.  Given that, I have been mostly happy to take the divide and conquer approach, and he’s been mostly happy to take on the tasks I don’t enjoy.  I will say that he stepped up his household contributions during the pandemic, I think because he was home more and began to notice more. He now not only does his own laundry and all sheets and towels, but all vacuuming.  Here’s hoping some of your situationally incompetent spouses turn a corner too.

[/quote]

Nice that the GC said anything.  Usually when they talk to that stupid of a homeowner they shut up and charge triple.

Same “absent minded” husband here. He’s from Europe originally so the first couple times people assume cultural difference. After the 5h and 6th time they know he’s somewhat of a doofus.

It’s something off with his brain. We were canoeing with kids by the shore once and our host said Go this way, go this way. Everyone responds yet he is acting deaf to the host and his own kids in the canoe telling him what to do. [/quote]

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