Reply to Is it creepy that a bartender remembered my drink after one visit three weeks ago?

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Reply to "Is it creepy that a bartender remembered my drink after one visit three weeks ago?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It honestly made me feel uncomfortable. My drink was just a basic two ingredient cocktail. I think I look pretty normal and forgettable. I made sure to pay cash because I didn’t want him taking down my name and then social media or Google stalking me.[/quote]

Did you get drunk when you went to several weeks ago? Do you feel insecure about the amount of drinks that you ordered? I sense that some sort of specious element here.[/quote]

Just one drink. Tipped normally, nothing too low or too high. Nothing about my brief visit was memorable. I do not want to be remembered and treated like a barfly on a first name basis with any server. I don’t want to be served like “oh, the usual?” It is not courteous, it is rude to conduct yourself like this to a woman in a drinking establishment. And it is a little creepy to remember woman and her drink when she briefly visited several weeks ago.[/quote]

It is considered the sign of a good bartender to remember your drink.

Next time just drink along in your hotel room.[/quote]

Is this an American thing? I truly do not understand why that makes for a good server you will see once or twice in your life. It’s not as if it was waiting for me when I walked in. It doesn’t save any time. It insinuates you drink a lot there. Which I don’t. And it startled me, so I switched my drink order. Maybe that’s something you want at your local cafe you visit with your family twice a week for years on end and they remember just how you like your steak frites. Or maybe men like this from bartenders. Not something a bartender should ever do to a random solo woman.[/quote]

OP how do you expect this thread to go?

Everyone, literally everyone, is telling you that what the bartender did was entirely appropriate and what you think it "insinuates" is not what anyone else would take from it.

You are entirely unmoved by the consensus answer to the QUESTION you asked in your subject line.  Is your plan to just keep repeating yourself and ignoring everyone?[/quote]

+1. OP, I would feel differently if there was someone following something you did, and commenting on it (however innocuous it would seem to a common bystander) regularly, with inappropriate intent, and not owning up to it - but this situation is different: you were in the context of his profession (ie: a somewhat regular patron at a bar, whatever you wish to call it; where he works; and actually sitting at the bar; his comment was pertinent to the direct matter at hand; and it could be deemed a fair and reasonable transaction).  It's not like you were sitting outside of his actual sightline, and he came flying across the restaurant and said "I know what she likes!" even.

There was nothing outside of the parameters of appropriate about it.  This is not stalking.  Stalking is different, stalking is repeated harassment: [b]"pursue or approach stealthily; harass or persecute (someone) with unwanted and obsessive attention".   What he did could not be brought to court, or even kept by record. [/b]

I mean, if you knew you would be some where, and he showed up repeatedly, and especially if he taunted you or was otherwise inappropriate, he would be screwed.  I would be all for getting a lien on his house, and more. But this is not that. [/quote]

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