Reply to Boomer parents/realities of aging in place

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For the people who have urged OP to uproot her family - you are nuts.

OP, I am in a similar situation with my parents.  They live in my childhood home with a large puppy (!!) and no adjustments in the house to make it easy for my immobile dad to get around.  So he doesn't leave the house.

I spent a year wringing my hands about the choices they were or weren't making and how it is all ridiculous and unsustainable.  Turns out they want my help but not my advice.

So I have set clear boundaries.  I go down every few months for a visit to enjoy them.  If there's a surgery or medical emergency where they need my brain, I try to be available.  Other than that, they are on their own.  As they want and have chosen for themselves.[/quote]

Did you frame it that explicitly for them?

My parents have passed but my ILs are here. Perhaps a saving grace that my MiL is the one in the driver's seat as FiL has Alzheimers and is content to go along with whatever decision is made. Or at least he has been through now. There is a niece/spouse there and is helpful in a pinch, but niece has her own parents to look after in another state and this isn't really her responsibility.

PP, just wondering how explicit you were.[/quote]

Not the PP, but I was in a similar situation and could not have been MORE explicit. None of it mattered. And when catastrophe DID strike, I was told it was wrong of me to ‘dwell in the past’ and that I needed to bail them out.[/quote]

Told by them or by others?[/quote]

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