Reply to Dated for 2 months, didn’t work out. Now…we’re expecting.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Literally…what now? We don’t know each other very well, it was an ugly but mutual ‘this isn’t what either of us want’ breakup. But now there’s a kid inbound, confirmed by a doctor.

Su uh…anyone been in this situation? Both of us are financially stable and could reasonably raise a kid. Both have also had the tough ‘do we keep it’ talk. I’m feeling a bit lost[/quote]

You were already broken up when you found out you were pregnant, and told him, do I have that part right, OP? In your shoes I would not even have told him but would have had an abortion.

He knows now and you say you've had the tough "do we keep it" talk but [i]you do not tell us[/i] -- what does he want to do? Did you make him feel he has a vote here? Are you truly willing to give him that vote? Opening this up as a discussion with him inserts at lot of new issues, if he thinks he wants to be a father, but honestly, I'd have the abortion right now and cut all ties with him.

The breakup was "ugly" and that should be the only sign you need. Finances and whether you could "reasonably" raise a child financially are not the point, OP. Even if he is a relatively absent father you still will be yoked to him for the rest of your life, and possibly to his family too; would they want to know a child of his? Know you? Expect visits and contact? Again, this is for the rest of your life. He could choose at any point to become more involved, or to go the other direction and be less involved (leaving you with all costs etc.), or even to try for custody. No way to predict. Unless YOU, 100 percent, want the rest of your life to be about this child (because that's parenthood, whether it's wanted or unwanted), have an abortion with no compunction, but do it ASAP.[/quote]

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