Reply to I just don't like my husband anymore

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[quote=Anonymous]Have you tried telling him in a gentle, non- threatening, neutral tone (cuz men check out if they think you are complaining or trying to control them) that you need help or expect him to interact with the children?

I guess I'm lucky in that my DH handles the kids once he is home. I try to get them fed before he's home, he arrives around 6:45pm, plays until he puts then in the bath at 7, puts them to bed, and he's done by 8. THEN it's his man-cave zoning out time.

He just always did this by himself, though; I never had to prompt. But, while he's taking care of the kiddos' bath and bed, I'm cleaning up the kitchen and all that. Those 90 minutes are the only time he spends with the children during the day, so he's glad to do it.   Now, he he has desk job and gets to go out to lunch, and do mundane things like drink coffee, shoot the breeze with his coworkers, and use the restroom in peace. If he had a manual or physical job, were outside in questionable weather, and had to eat and pee on the run, then I think I might be a little more forgiving of man cave/decompression/chilling out time before I expected him to deal with the chaos of little children.

But I think communicating is still the key. He may have no idea that something else is expected of him. And the tone makes a huge difference. If you act like his mother, he will respond by acting like a child.   Maybe pretend he's a house guest and communicate with him as such. Like, "hey! Would you mind putting your dirty socks in basket? Super! Thanks!" or, "hey! How was your day? I'm so glad you're home! I could actually use your help. Would you mind keeping the kids occupied while I finish up dinner? Thank you so much!"

Really. Men are easy like that. Positivity and courtesy. Works wonders.[/quote]

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