Reply to I just don't like my husband anymore

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I get really irritated when I hear about these relationships where one spouse allows infatuation with the shiny new person destroy the long-term relationship or starts treating the old companion badly solely because he or she is no longer shiny and new. I'm fiercely loyal and so is my wife; so I guess when that's lacking in other people's relationships, it's none of my concern. But, even so, it's irritating to me because it seems so unfair and lazy. [/quote]

Yep, it's a problem. FWIW I totally contributed to being less shiny and new. We fell into a rut, man did we. We prioritized every thing over each other. I mean EVERYTHING. So that's normal and human, and my approach is, so we've hit rock bottom, let's make a change. Let's do this. Game time.

And his approach was, I think I'm done. I fell out of love. Let's aim for an amicable divorce.

To his credit we are working on things and he is trying but he has one foot out the door and it's really, really hard. Lazy is an interesting word. Yes, it is hard as hell to fix a broken marriage and do the work, but people are really kidding themselves if they think divorce with young kids is easy or easier. I think people like to blame the spouse and think a new, shiny person will be the answer to all of their problems. And that person will, for a while. But then it's the same shit all over again, only now you have the stuff you were avoiding fixing in yourself in the first place, plus an ex and all that baggage, plus a new person's ex and stepkids, plus your kids and their new issues, plus you are financially not doing as well. Sounds a lot harder to me.[/quote]

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