Reply to DH was a huge jerk to me today and I don't know what to do next

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[quote=Anonymous]		I don’t know, op, why were you so mean about helping your husband find the paper? You’d had a hard day, but so had he and for whatever reason he couldn’t find the printer paper.. is that what it was? You were intentionally vague on what type of paper and you know that. You wrote the post to make your husband sound lazy and incompetent, not cool, op. We’ve all had times where we simply can’t find what we should be able to find, no need to be nasty about it, yet a household matter turned into an hours long discussion about… *you. Think of all the fun things you two could have been doing if you’d just gotten the paper, given it to your husband, given him a nice kiss because you love him and that would have been the end of it, or not, maybe he’d have been really sweet or sexy with you later, which can at times be way better then a deep dive intl *your* feelings.

Then you get into a fight about furniture where again, your feeling are the only ones that matter. Why? Work call or no, you were never going to ever move the couch or whatever it was and we all know it.

Then you find time to clean up a table or whatever during work time no less. The table wasn’t bothering anybody, it’d been there for months, it could have stayed that way a little longer, but no, it had to be done right then, even after whatever happened with the printer paper earlier in the week. You know all of this and you just wouldn’t quit. 
As for husband, you had all of us with his weird thing with your bathroom stuff. Strange and objectively more weird then what you did, but girls are smarter then boys and can act in ways that look normal and are way more subtle and way worse then anything a boy can do. I can well appreciate being that frustrated and stressed that he acts weird.

Finally, you seem to just not care about the personel issue he’s dealing with at work. Your “I can’t help him” is just cold. Why can’t you and he create the environment in your home where you both can speak freely? It helps with the marriage and it helps with parenting, we all need people and places where we can speak, don’t have to watch our language and feel heard and loved even if the person you are talking to can’t just make the problem go away.  This matters for kids and adults, though your kids may be too young for you to know this yet. My older 2 are at a point where they really need to feel relaxed and comfortable in order for them to say what they need to say, and it goes way beyond “but I told them they can always come to me”. Learn to do this with your husband first, and the thing you do right now is care about him and love him. Personel issues are  some of the hardest to deal with and you just.. don’t care. What is wrong with you, op? [/quote]

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