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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I grew up in a conservative Christian household.

I found a condom packet with a brand new one in there on the floor of the basement, where DS and his GF were hanging out. This was when they were 17. We were at home, so I know they wouldn't be dumb enough to do anything while we were there because DH or I sometimes will go down to the basement to get something. But, clearly, they were sexually active.

I wasn't sure how to react. I knew that they were fooling around, but I hadn't realized how far it had gotten.  I put it in a ziploc bag, and put it on his desk while he was sat there, and told him to be more circumspect.  That told him that I knew, and I also told DH. He was more accepting of it than I was.

They are both high achieving kids in a magnet program. [b] I told him that if he got her pregnant, both their lives would be altered beyond what they could imagine. Forget about college. They'd have to dropout, get a job to support the baby. [/b]

They are now in different colleges and visit each other a lot.   They are  probably having sex.

All this to say, not much you can do at this point other than making damn sure that they are using protection and that they understand that no birth control is 100% fool proof, and what life would be like should she get pregnant.  Even if I told DS that I was against what he was doing, that wouldn't stop him.  They are, at least, very much in love, so I understand what "morals" you are coming from with your situation.

But, I've had to learn that our kids are not an extension of us. They are their own person, and they have their own moral compass.  You may think that you failed at your job of not providing that moral compass that reflects your values, but at this age, independent minded teens will develop their own moral compass.

[/quote]

Why would you lie in this way? I mean I have no problem talking to them about the risk of pregnancy and the consequences and I would have no problem with you giving your views on what they should do if it happens, but they have the option to terminate the pregnancy or seek an adoption whether you like it or not.

It’s not like I want my teen to go out and get pregnant and have an abortion, I just don’t understand why you would say what you said. [/quote]

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