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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In second grade, my husband's teacher told my MIL that he was intellectually disabled because he was so slow. He actually had a learning disability. He made 600k last year working at a FAANG. I'm saying this just to brag a little, like OP. Also to point out that there are lots of ways to be smart, and sometimes they aren't that obvious in a second grade classroom. [/quote]

Big deal [/quote]

DP. It actually is a big deal. A lot of you parent to have bragging rights over the wholly insignificant “accomplishments” of a 10 year old, instead of having any perspective about what matters on a more permanent basis. Good on that woman’s DH and MIL. He probably learned resilience and perseverance more than any snotty, impossible to be around braggart and the parents who have tolerated it because it’s “cute.” IJS.[/quote]

some people are VERY defensive here.

the fact is that intelligence is on a spectrum. [b]one type of intelligence is fast processing speed and high working memory. kids who finish their school work first and are able to read complex texts are likely high in these aspects of IQ compared to their classmates.[/b] The girl is only 7 and she notices this. Just like we would not castigate a child who noticed they were slower, it’s nasty to castigate a 7 year old for noticing she is indeed faster.

in addition kids vary in motivation. some have high IQs but don’t care about doing what the teacher wants (my kid!). Others are perceptive about what the assignment is and want to do it correctly. again this is a relative strength that the girl is noticing.

there’s something odd about a parent seeing this as “intellectually pretentious” as opposed to a young child noticing their differences. Yes some of the statements come off as rude and should be corrected. but overall the child should be supported and encouraged through appropriate challenges. [/quote]

I don't agree with everything in this comment but I do think the bolded is relevant. I have unusually good processing speed and it absolutely can cause social issues that I have had to address throughout my life. It takes a special skill set, because it means you often have to listen to people work through something you already understand, raise questions you've already thought through, figure out how to explain things that feel intuitive to you, or explain things slowly and with breaks that you wouldn't need in order to get. I know this makes me sound like an intolerable know-it-all, but I'm not smart one very way. I am a very fast learner, though, and I have the ability to synthesize information very fast. It has been very helpful in my career (used to be a trial attorney, now work in consulting and it makes me very good on my feet with difficult clients). But you have to learn a whole different set of social skills that I don't think everyone needs to learn, in order to be a good conversationalist and keep yourself from interrupting people all the time (because you already understand their point and are ready to move on) or dominating conversations (because you aren't giving people a chance to process the discussion before moving on).

I think it's worth acknowledging to your DD that there is something unique about her ability to catch on to lessons very quickly, work through assignments fast without making mistakes, etc. But then also explain that it's okay that not everyone is like this and that other people have other strengths. Let her be proud of her own strength but in a way that acknowledges there are other good ways to be. My DH is very smart but has a much slower processing time than I do. This is actually advantageous in his work, which moves much slower than mine and involves many more layers of review and discussion (he works in engineering and architectural design). I wouldn't have the patience for it. He's not dumb just because his brain doesn't work like mine, and in some ways he's smarter than I am. But I pick things up faster than he does, especially new concepts, and have a unique ability to combine concepts from different disciplines and figure out how they work together. We're both smart.[/quote]

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