Reply to Suddenly seems like not enough HHI despite great relationship

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you are motivated by money, I strongly suggest finding a partner that is also motivated by money.  Otherwise, you will grow to resent the man you are with and his motivation level (or lack thereof) to provide for his family.  All of your money concerns will only go up after having kids, not down.  Kids are terribly expensive and the cost of college tuition is becoming unconscionable.  There are some people who are fine living very modestly and do not feel the need to pay for their kids' college.  I am not one of them so I work hard in a high-paying job to provide for my family and chose a partner who also does the same.  You need to find someone who is aligned with your financial goals and values.  [/quote]

"I want to be rich" is not a value. Quite the opposite. But I agree if this is the way you think you should find someone aligned with your lack of values.[/quote]

I respectfully disagree with how you characterized my post.  "I want to be rich" is not the value I am talking about.  I actually live a relatively modest life, drive 10 year old cars that are paid for, etc.  What I value is being able to provide for my family and not have any of us worry about how we are going to pay for a house in a safe neighborhood, pay for college/lessons/private school if needed, pay for any and all health care bills, donate to charities, and take care of our much less well off siblings and parents in their old age.  And yes, I would like to pay for fresh/healthy food and vacations where we can travel the world.  These are my values and when I got married, I picked someone whose values aligned with my own.  I am unapologetic in my view that money makes life a lot easier and provides a tremendous amount of safety and security.  Luckily, my husband agrees and that is why our marriage works.  OP - He is also a wonderful, caring, human being who prioritizes his friends, family, and colleagues.  It is not one or the other.    [/quote]

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