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[quote=Anonymous]Just wanted to let you know that I relate, OP. I have two teenaged nieces (13 and 17-they're my sister's girls). My DH and I don't have kids and we spent a decent amount of time babysitting them when they we little (weekends a few times per year). I really enjoyed it and the girls seemed to, too. We would do all sorts of fun kid oriented activities and I would "spoil" them (treats, shopping, etc)-they always seemed happy to visit. Additionally we'd see them on holidays at family gatherings.

Now that they are older they aren't interested in visiting us which I completely understand. I feel sad about it but that's life. At this point I visit them-I periodically go to their sporting events or plays and/or take them out for lunch or dinner or to a movie/show (or whatever else they are interested in doing). I do it because I want to maintain a relationship with them but honestly they don't seem very interested (they are on their phones a lot of the time, they don't respond to my occasional texts, I rarely get a thank you for gifts, etc). It hurts. Some of my hurt admittedly comes from having a shitty childhood where I didn't get enough attention and would have LOVED to have an invested aunt. But that's my deal and not about them. They are privileged girls-both monetarily and in terms of love (good parents, a number of invested relatives and family friends). They don't need me the way I needed an invested adult when I was a kid.

I try not to take it personally and intellectually I know that they are teenagers and this is part of their development. But there's a part of me that worries that I somehow did something to offend them (I talked about it once with my sister and she got annoyed with me and told me I was being ridiculous). And there's a part of me that feels hurt and irritated. Is it too much to ask for a text saying thank you for a gift? I can't bring that up with my sister-she's very defensive of them and it would start WW III.

Anyway, just commiserating OP! I hope that as they get older it gets better. But honestly I don't really enjoy spending time with them right now. [/quote]

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