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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

That is classic dementia, OP. Your mother is in the combative stage. There is not much you can do that won't aggravate her.

If you want to organize a memorial for your father, go ahead.

Until she reaches the stage where she's non-functional and not as aggressive, you can retreat a little, and let whatever happens happen (falls, hospital stays, house in disarray, money wasted on ridiculous things). Keep tabs on her. And when things are at the stage where the hospital says she can't go home and live by herself... that's when you can put her in a home close to you, if you want, and sell the house (there are companies that specialize in selling contents then selling the house itself). Inquire as to waitlist time and price for memory care homes. Spend her money, then when it's all spent down, Medicare will do the rest. Do not spend your money apart from travel and incidentals.

BUT UNDERSTAND THAT HER ANGER IS NOT PERSONAL - IT'S HER DEMENTIA. A majority of elders in the US will have a form of dementia before they die. It can happen to you, or your husband, or any of us. You need to emotionally detach and care for her physical envelope without caring in the least what she thinks or says about you. Or just abandon her, but whatever you decide, just know that right now, her brain is terminally unwell.

[/quote]

Me again. My father is in the early stages, in a different country, and it's tough for me to do anything that far away. But for your own health, OP, I read that having elevated HDL cholesterol (the good kind) was found to increase the risk of dementia. So now I'm being a little more careful with my diet. It's not just high blood pressure, or high LDL/triglycerides that are involved in dementia risk. Just FYI...[/quote]
Wow, thanks—I’ll definitely look into that. I’ve been trying to make sure I eat right and get plenty of rest, but the stress is really wearing me down. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. I can’t imagine trying to deal with this from an even longer distance. Take care.[/quote]

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