Reply to Anybody not want kids but have them anyway? (TTC and unsure)

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[quote=Anonymous]You know how the dog wants to play with you and has had to learn that your DH is the only one who will and you don't "do that"?  Kids don't learn, not like that.  They will try again and again and again.

In my life, I could use a little more calm.  I sometimes find myself saying, to my elementary school age children, "Could I PLEASE finish this thing I am working on?  Could I PLEASE just have a minute to think one thought through all the way to the end?"

But, here is the thing.  That happens when I've gone too many nights in a row with four or less hours of sleep, or I have a huge looming work deadline and my husband is out of town traveling and I am trying to work from home, etc.  In those high-stress moments, the constant demands from the kids, who are largely self-sufficient now so way past the baby stage, can feel like chunks of energy are being ripped from you, that all you have left is a hollow shell.  When I feel like that, it is a huge wake up call that I'd better get some freaking sleep and step away from whatever it is that is stressing me out for a little while.  I'd better curl up in bed with one of those energy-sucking children for a weekend nap, or take another one to Starbucks so we can giggle and I can make a point of noticing the gorgeous smile my child has.

My concern for you, OP, is that it will all feel like chunks are being ripped out of you all the time, and more time with the kids may not fix it for you.  There really is no me time in being a mother.  It's worse with two than with one because you can't take turns being on.  You are both on all of the time.  I think you have to ask yourself what you really have to give.  I used to think it was hyperbole when people say theyw ould lay down their lives for their children.  Now that I have children, I get it, and I totally would.  Would you?  Can you?  Or will you always be retreating into the other room, trying to keep a distance and being afraid it will cost too much of yourself?  Because it will, you know.  Cost too much of yourself.  It's a price you have to be willing to pay, and pay, and pay.[/quote]

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