Reply to I Miss Being In Love

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP honestly, it sounds like you just have an absolute ton of contempt for your husband, and I think we all know that doesn't bode well for the marriage.  You just see yourself as superior, but guess what, should you get divorced, he's going to find a woman who appreciates him, farts and fat and all, much faster than you will find a man who meets your standards.  I say this as a wife who related to a lot of what you wrote.

When I took a step back and really tried to think about DH in an objective way, I think that a lot of women would be thrilled to have him, partly because most men are junky, and partly because he has a lot of genuine good qualities.  But we had other, more intense issues, and I told DH it was therapy or divorce so we are in therapy.

Something that helps is a class or activity you do just the two of you.  We take a dance class and it is a nice way to connect and have a mini date night every week.  You have to reconnect and do fun things together, dates, etc.[/quote]

Have you read the thread? He won’t do a class or date night. That’s what OP wants. The fat and farting are the least of it. Out of shape men can be sexy if they learn to tango with you, want to enjoy a nice dinner out and appreciate you in lingerie. This guy doesn’t want to do anything but eat, sleep and work. [/quote]

I re-read the thread and it doesn't say specifically that he refuses these things if she signs up, just that he doesn't want to do new things.  My husband sounds extremely similar to OP's in many ways- highly averse to change, creature of routine, super stressed out over "new" sex things and not that interested in sex (maybe there is something in the water?).  It took my poor husband 10 years before he let me be on top, and he used to be so loopy about getting oral.  HIM doing oral?  HA!  In my dreams.  So I am truly RIGHT THERE with OP.

At one point I signed us up for a dance class, and we did it no matter how nervous and upset he was about trying a new thing.  And guess what!  He liked it!  And it was really fun!  It was a wonderful way to reconnect.  You HAVE to find ways to reconnect.  Why?  Because you are the one unhappy with the status quo.[/quote]
OP here — It seems you’re skipping over the details I’ve already provided that would make clear your suggestions aren’t workable with my DH. I’m glad you and your DH are working things out though.[/quote]

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