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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=lmaple]My daughter is a 25 year old who has a decent job by any means, but is disappointing me (and I know that’s entirely a me problem and not a her problem!).

To give some background information, I am a single mom and a teacher with no generational wealth. I emphasized education as the path for upward mobility for DD all throughout her life, and she graduated from her MCPS high school at the top of her class. She had all the awards — National Merit Scholar, varsity captain of her sport, 4.0 UW GPA while taking 14 AP classes….

She went to an “elite” college (WASP SLAC, if anyone cares, but not super relevant here) on a hefty financial aid package. She graduated college in 2020 with a bachelor’s in Neuroscience and English, magna cum laude.

But she has not lived up to her potential. Since graduation, she has worked a series of low-paying jobs in journalism. Last year, she landed a job at a media company in LA that pays $70k/year.

I guess this is all to say that I am really worried about her. $70k in a city as expensive as LA does not go very far. And in general, media and journalism are not high-paying fields. She does not have any generational wealth.

I look at her high school classmates (many of whom I taught at her high school), and at 25 years old, they are making WAY more money than her despite being much less intelligent and hardworking. I can list countless classmates of hers who are making $200k+ in finance, tech, real estate, software sales, consulting, etc. I know for a fact that my daughter is more intelligent and more disciplined than many of those people.

It’s just frustrating to see her throw her potential away. I know that this is a me problem, but I can’t help but feel frustrated.

Anyone else in a similar situation here? [/quote]

So, what were you doing at age 25?  Do you think your parents were disappointed in you?  Your daughter is an adult and gets to live her life the way she wants to. It has zero reflection on you.  Believe me, your dd knows you are disappointed but, you are lucky if you don't ruin the relationship.  Would you rather her be miserable and make a ton of money?  Is the reason you want her to do what you want her to do so you can brag about her?  That is classic narcissism behavior.

https://psychcentral.com/disorders/why-narcissistic-parents-infantilize-their-adult-children[/quote]

It’s narcissistic to care about your kid?

Please. You sound deluded. I’m not worried just so I can “brag about my DD.” I’m worried about her ability to support the next generation. This isn’t about me. It’s about her! [/quote]

You are the deluded one.  It is her life.  Back off unless you want estrangement[/quote]

You never answered what you were doing at 25.  [/quote]

OP is a loser trying to compensate for her feelings of inferiority (based on metrics she buys into but couldn't acheive)  through her daughter who clearly doesn't care about or judge herself by those metrics. OP wasn't doing crap at 25. [/quote]

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