Reply to I am married to a passive, un-masculine man

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I love my husband but he is not like...a man. He does not have a big career or even works outside of the home! He runs a small business and hardly leaves the house. He cooks dinner most nights and does not show any interest in physical fitness or sports. He does not have male friends and he is a recluse.

We have a 3 year old that I know will seek out his father in terms of how to be a man, when the time comes. Is my situation as dire as being a single mom in terms of having role models for our son?[/quote]

It’s 2023! This is how men are.  [/quote]

He cooks you dinner every night and you are complaining?[/quote]

It’s a myth that women want docile men. No, they like semi assh**ls so they can have something to complain about.[/quote]
Women do not want assh***s. They want a kind man who can be assertive and take the lead when appropriate. Probably the same for men. [/quote]

This sounds like a near unicorn. I could be the OP’s DH (except I’m ambitious in my job) but I’m not assertive anywhere, including the bedroom. I know this limits my appeal but I don’t see how you can compartmentalize your personality to be one way to your spouse and another way to everyone else. I think women each need to decide where they want to be on the docile—toxic masculinity spectrum and accept someone who is consistently that way with everyone. [/quote]

I hear this and I think it's true for a lot of people, but people's personalities are complex and layered. In our relationship my wife tends to have the final say in most decisions, and I enjoy deferring to her because I like making her happy. But, in bed she and I both like me to be powerful and masculine. Every man is different and every relationship is different. I agree with those who say that this sounds like a compatibility issue that existed before marriage.[/quote]

Unpopular opinion: women who want men to be deferential in the streets but dominant in the sheets are just lazy. [/quote]

Your opinion is unpopular because it's stupid. Like I said, every couple has its own dynamic. Ours works well for us. That's all it is.[/quote]

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