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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It may not be that the coach dislikes your child- but simply likes other players more. IME: the top 20% of players will get lots of attention and playing time wherever they go, the bottom 20% of players will struggle to get attention and playing time wherever they go. For that remaining middle group of kids- 60% or so- attention and role will vary widely depending on the coach. This is where things like general likability , “politics” or simply differing opinion of skills etc come into play. If your kid is in this middle group- you have to be much more mindful/careful about what team they are on and consider more factors. Often you may have to move around yearly to find the best fit.

In other words- probably time to look for a new team. [/quote]

In our case, it's been more like the top 10% and the bottom 10%  are locked in, and the middle 80% need to be careful and find a good fit.  The politics have been brutal for us in the sports with dad coaches (single mom) but it got better as we aged into independent coaches, and by high school much better, but we had to find off-season opportunities to make up for missed playing time along the way so DC could learn how to play on special teams, etc.   [/quote]

My youngest finally hit 12u and the paid independent coaching stage. It is a relief, for sure.

The dad coach issue can be a real problem at times. A kid without an involved dad (or Heaven forbid- a disliked dad) is often at a large disadvantage- the dads band together into buddy groups early on to advance the interests of their kids. If a kid is in the top 10% of players it will not matter, but for any kid in that middle 80%- they will always always work together to advocate for and pad along a kid from the  “dad buddy group” over another child. Whether it is playing time, forming new teams, who makes top level or all star teams, and more.  Many will even try to influence paid coaches- sometimes with success. A kid who is 20% percentile in skill but with a popular dad will have a better chance of success than a kid 80% on skill with an absent or disliked dad…at least at the younger ages. Have seen some version of this with all 3 of my kids’ various travel sports. [/quote]

A small group of dads run youth sports in our town and decides who makes all-stars, travel teams, etc.  Expertise runs the gamut from “played D1” to “quit after the 5th grade”.  It’s a real crapshoot.  If you’re lucky, you get a dad coach who understands kids and is invested in developing them all equally.  More often, you get a dad coach inserting himself onto the team so he can snowplow for his child.

We had the latter last year for basketball. He was a screamer.  He threw hats, cursed out loud, benched kids arbitrarily, and ignored 50% of the team. By the end of the season, he still didn’t know the names of the bottom kids.  “GOOD JOB, WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS,” he’d yell during a game, thinking he was being funny.  My son quit the sport because of him.  So did three other kids, including his own son.  As a single mom, the politics and the lack of accountability drive me crazy.[/quote]

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