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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do any other daughters of narcissistic mothers have mothers who blatantly favor your brothers over you? My mother shows zero interest in me or my life. She probably couldn't even tell you where I work or what I do for a living but she knows every minute detail about my under-achieving younger brother and will talk about him at length if given the chance. She has never given any indication that she is proud of me or even so much as acknowledged my achievements in spite the fact that on-paper, I'm clearly the more successful child. The favoritism is so obvious and in-your-face that other people have pointed it out.[/quote] Yes. My mom told me she wanted sons. She favored my brothers and abused me. She treated my dh as her own son. I felt loke I was an outsider.[/quote] When my older son was born we attended a family party. My mom took my son and positioned herself front and center in the photo and stood in front of me, practically blocking me out from the photo. Even my husband noticed what she did. From then on he got her number. It was obvious that she was parading herself around as grandma. She had little to nothing to say to me. She wanted to validation from her friends that she was now in their club.[/quote] Do we have the same mom? I posted once, if anyone remembers, about having a baby and when the baby was five days old, my mom invited several family members (including toddlers who were always sick) over to my house without telling me until they were almost there. When they arrived, she grabbed my baby to introduce him as if he were hers. This was after my pediatrician said to avoid crowds because babies require a spinal tap if they spike a fever under two weeks old. I cried and was so hormonal. She wrote me a scathing email (which I also posted) where she told me I was too inflexible and need to be able to go with the flow now that I was a parent, and roll with the punches and gracious accept guests on a whim. I don't know if my mom is a narcissist but she definitely has 0 boundaries with me. She has also done nice things for me, gotten me nice stuff, been on my side in certain situations, which I think she feels has afforded her the right to cross normal boundaries. [/quote] PP here. Oh, I can relate. My mom bristles at the idea of boundaries— we are family! I am your mother! When I force those boundaries, though, she’ll say, “we’ve been good to you,” meaning, she (and my dad) should have the freedom to do snd say whatever they want and I have no business being offered minded or outright shutting them down. Over the years I’ve come to realize that they were extremely dysfunctional. I do think it’s s case if narcissism covering for insecurity and the gnawing sense that they never really achieved what they wanted in life because their own parents were also stifling snd more worried about enforcing what they wanted rather than allowing their children to grow into full adults. That’s why I often believe in sone ways my mother emotionally froze somewhere in her teen years. So what do you do when this is your own mother and you know she’s not going to change? I’ve tried distancing myself and her response to that has been that she wants to see her grandchildren (and I’m supposed to facilitate that because we don’t want to be one of those families with estrangement). I’m waiting for the day she decides she’s not seeing them enough and tries play the grandparents rights card. My guess is my kids will not want to spend much time with her once they’re old enough to make that decision (and like a good narcissist she’ll blame me for it.)[/quote]
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