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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What are some of the things narcissistic mothers say and do?[/quote] when you’re a 9 year old piano player learning the Happy Farmer she pushes you off the piano bench and plays a Chopin’s Polonaise.[/quote]

Thank you for this one example. I read so many posts from women who hate their mothers, but never any examples of what it is exactly, their mothers did to them. I would implore everybody to be very cautious of therapists. To be honest, the two most self-centered, insecure women I have known in my adult life felt rudderless as empty nesters and became therapists. They charge and arm and a leg, but I simply cannot imagine ever getting becoming a healthier person just by sitting down with the likes of them. My DD tried therapy a few times for her anxiety in high school and could not believe how strange the therapists she tried all were. [b]I know this is so unsympathetic, but barring physical and sexual abuse, and real neglect, should having a mother who is basically just not that nice really ruin your life?[/quote][/b]

While ultimately as an adult you can't blame your parents for ruining your life the impact that "not that nice" parents have can be huge. When you have parents who put you down, disregard your emotional needs, make you feel as though you're an impediment to them living the life they want, etc. it can have a big impact on your sense of self-worth. I think it's sometimes hard for people with good parents to understand this. Also what constitutes "real neglect?" Does turning a blind eye to the fact that your 13 year old daughter is having sex and drinking meet the criteria? I left out a pregnancy test and came home smelling of alcohol and my mother never said anything. What about leaving your 15 year old daughter alone for weeks on end while you stay with your girlfriend? I had way too much freedom and not enough supervision as a kid because after my parents divorced they wanted to pretend they didn't have a child. [/quote]

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