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[quote=Anonymous]My mother opted to become a school teacher because she thought she was an expert in childhood. She went around quoting Jackie Kennedy about failing in life if you fail with your children. She got into fights with other mothers throughout my childhood because she just, wouldn’t, stop offering unsolicited advice about people’s kids.

As a kid, I doubted myself all the time, I put my feelings second (came from hardcore Catholic martyr upbringing), and always worried about embarrassing myself and not being liked because that was her focus. Worse of all, it took me a few decades to finally understand that putting yourself first sometimes and going with your own intuition is, well, perfectly ok to do. And putting my wants and needs first above what she wanted and needed was ok, even if it made her uncomfortable. I gave up good early career moves after college because she wanted me home (my moving away and paying bills without her help and blessing made her comfortable) under her thumb. When I finished grad school and moved away she couldn’t behave and accept it. It’s bothered her so much that I did not want to stay in town and find a more reasonable option that made her feel better. To this day she still makes it sound like that was I’ve of my biggest mistakes. Never got over it.

And don’t get me started on how this impacted relationships with men. Yup, attracted lots of jerks because I felt “lucky” they gave me attention. [/quote]

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