Reply to If your parents lived amicably and then divorced while you were in college, how did you do?

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Reply to "If your parents lived amicably and then divorced while you were in college, how did you do?"

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[quote=Anonymous][/quote]

This does not fall in the amiable but unhappy marriage bucket. This is no way to live. Would he manage a small apartment and custody time OK or is he too out of it?[/quote]

No. BTW - this is not OP but giving examples of why one waits until kids are older/college age to divorce when there are no abuse/adultery/addiction.

He has emotionally blackmailed me since my child was born and has threatened (and would follow through) and move across country to have shared custody for no other reason than spite. And despite the fact that I literally cannot stand this man, our child adores him and vice versa. My child would be devastated. It's as simple as that. And no it's no way to live and no I'm not proud to be a silent resentful seething monster and I imagine that the moment I think I'm free I'll probably keel over from a stroke and never actually get to realize the joy of no longer living this way.

And that's the reality of my own personal sacrifice. No one made me. It's not forced. But there is no other viable option for me that will not make my child extremely sad and anxious and quite possibly ruin his childhood. So I do what a lot of you crow about - I stay. And I don't argue anymore because what is the f-ing point. I "gray rock" and move as little as possible so not only do I not argue, I don't provoke an argument - not because I am weak but because I know I'm strong and I know that I can live with my decisions.

But no - I do not believe that I have to be tethered to this situation for all time because of my past choices and mistakes. And yes there are reasons to not want to live and be with someone just so you don't die alone. I'd welcome dying alone with my kids around me knowing that I've literally done all I can to make sure that they are as happy and loving as they can be without me saddling them with burdens that aren't theirs to carry.[/quote]

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