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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It makes me sad to see how much people vent on their mothers for relatively small things. Didn’t your moms do enough for you when they raised you? Why do you expect them to keep being selfless to your own family? Don’t you want them to have their own social circle and friends? What is it that you really need them to do for you? Frankly, my kids are teens and I am almost done giving, giving, giving. Breadwinner, social support, moral support, mental load, physical load for 18+ years - when is it time to stop? If a mother hates cooking but does it anyway to ensure their kids have a healthy diet, is she obligated to keep doing this for her grandkids? I don’t think so. The small favors she does for other people aren’t a big deal and maybe those women, who are her community and social support do the same for them and you just aren’t aware? [/quote]

Apologist.

I don’t NEED anything from my mother (no childcare, no money, no logistical support, nothing). I am 100% independent in every way. BUT I would like my children to have a relationship with her, some kind of relationship at a minimum. My mother breaks plans to see my children (not to baby sit them which she has NEVER done) but plans to see their concert or sports game or recital or play or grandparents day at school or to go to a movie with us or to come have lunch at our house or to just visit so she can see her ex-coworker’s (who moved 500 miles away 10 years ago) daughter who now lives in Florida but will be in town to buy a new car. She is not in regular contact with the ex-coworker or the adult daughter. But now the woman is engaged and for some reason my mother needs to see this random person, drive 90 miles to see her, and break plans to see her grandson play soccer (which she hasn’t seen play since before Covid).

So I have stopped telling my kids when my mother is “planning” to meet up with us because 99% of the time she cancels to do random $hit like above. [/quote]

I’m sorry, I must have misunderstood. [/quote]

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