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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mil, who is great, was helping me after another baby. My mom couldn’t come, and she’s so helpful. My own mom just isn’t as physically capable anymore.

She agreed to stay with us for a few weeks bc it was a CS. It was our third and last kid. So two other kids to help.

The first 5 days or so she was so helpful. Then she informed us she’d be ending early to help 2 other people! (One was her brother, a fully capable man). The other the daughter of a random person. I’m telling you, it was quite random.

Those people will laud and appreciate her to the death, well, I would have if she had stayed with us.

She offered to come back at the end of the 3 weeks. I don’t remember what we said, but the critical time for her to be there was in the middle of helping others.. it was when DH was going back to work for the first time. And again, still quite raw from CS. Ped appointments, and carrying still an issue for me. Even a gallon of milk or heavy pot was pulling.

I still don’t get it. We clearly were desperate and needed help. I feel we are pleasant people. Why when we needed help did she have to leave and help others?[/quote]

And I was hospitalized on day 7 postpartum, for 2 days, with an infection and a hematoma that needed looking at. So we were really struggling more than the other 2 births. It was necessary for such a loving person to be there with us.

She left shortly after that to help these other people… there are other people who could have helped with what was going on for these others.[/quote]

With my MIL (who is not nearly or at all helpful) - not helping is a statement that she "doesn't like" someone or something - like a petulant child.  Even though that someone or something did nothing wrong, at all, and is perfectly, consistently acceptable and likeable. I imagine that your MIL is more socially adaptable, mature, and together - just putting it out there.  (Fairly certain that MIL is ASD, as is SIL, who codependent, and certainly are not going to out each other.)[/quote]

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