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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP: thank you all for sharing. Reading your responses kinda scares me. If I’m going to be dealing with this awful pile of trash for the foreseeable future I wonder if I can even come close to recovering feelings for my spouse?

Day to day I like my spouse, we get along well but it feels like I’m living with someone who shot me…sure the gun has been taken away but they still shot me. I’m hanging out with someone who was awful and it’s like I’m now betraying myself. I suppose healing or something like it will come once I’m able to separate the crime from the criminal. 
Make sense? [/quote]

I’m the 20+ year poster who’s still in the relationship. Yes, you absolutely can recover the feelings you remember. It didn’t take too long in fact. If your case is anything like mine, it wasn’t being shot because it wasn’t an attack on me. Maybe he just felt a craving for sex he couldn’t control. Maybe he did it for a few months and then felt so guilty he confessed and repented and has been transparently committed from then on. Well, that’s my story, and if yours is anything like it then you’ll get through it. I don’t think of the betrayal as a crime, just as a mistake made out of weakness. [/quote]

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