Reply to What did you do about ‘fairness’ if one child’s education costs a lot more than the other’s?

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Reply to "What did you do about ‘fairness’ if one child’s education costs a lot more than the other’s?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I see a lot of people talking need over fairness.  The issue with this is you cant predict when need pops up or who will need what. I am not happy with the way my parents divided educational expenses.  It has definitely led to negative feelings towards them, and compounded mental health issues.  I was told in-state (went to the state flagship) or loans, next youngest was told in-state (he went to the most expensive college at the state flagship) or OOS, and the youngest was told wherever (went to a prestigious OOS).  My siblings both were able to get jobs right out of college. Where I graduated with a useless major during the financial crisis. When I wanted to add a useful major that would have required an extra semester they said no.  I ended up in law school since I couldn't get a job to get the prerequisite experience for an MBA. They paid for a year on instate law school tuition, but I definitely felt trapped by the loans.  It took about 5 years for my legal career to sort itself out, with some very bad dark years at first. My parents never offered to step up and help me out financially when I needed the help. But they had money when my siblings wanted to go to college.  I was also the only one required to get a job during high school, while my parents funded my brothers spending.

I could see my parents stretched themselves to have a third kid, but never thought to give up the country club for my education.  Its also clear they felt like they just had to get us through college, even if it wasn't done equally.  Then when they had money and opportunity to correct it, they didnt.

The main takeaway?  You may end up stretching yourself for your last child at the expensive of the older children because you dont know who would need what and when.  I wish my parents had said here is how much you have for school and if they had money they were going to spend on the younger siblings, they at least tried to make it equal for me in some way.[/quote]

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