Reply to What did you do about ‘fairness’ if one child’s education costs a lot more than the other’s?

Forum Index » College and University Discussion

Reply to "What did you do about ‘fairness’ if one child’s education costs a lot more than the other’s?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Fair does not mean equal. I have taught my kids this since they were very young.[b] Everyone gets what is right for them[/b].[/quote]

This is such BS. You are ALL knowing? Of course I would need specifics to be entitled to my outrage. But, generally ... as long as no child is an extreme outliner re: needs, people DO care a lot re: fairness. If you aren't fair, it will forever harm your relationship with them and their relationship with each other.[/quote]

Welp, being that two of my kids have already graduated from college, and my relationship with them and their relationship with each other is great, I'm not really worried. But you enjoy your outrage. This is why you teach this concept young, and not in 12th grade. When both kids are in school and one needs tutoring and the other doesn't, should I have just ... handed the one who didn't need tutoring cash? To keep things equal? No. Because fair is each kid getting what they need. And they understood that on a much deeper level than apparently you do.[/quote]

DP who is also a parent to two young adults.  At this point you simply have no way of knowing how things will turn out in the future.  Among my own friends, the resentments over the paying for college and other parental support bubbled up in their 40s and 50s, not when they were just out of school.  For some it happened because the paying differential fit into a pattern (real or perceived) over time.  For others, it was triggered by elder care issues when they felt that the more successful sibling had more money invested in them, and should contribute more, or they felt that the parents made a bet by choosing tuition over retirement money, and should deal with the consequences.

Bottom line, don’t be smug, it’s not a good look.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics