Reply to DW acting as if nothing is happening during divorce mediation

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[quote=Anonymous]^^I don’t get this. Why don’t you just put boundaries down? Communicate via a parenting app and grey rock. Do not engage. You are at least half the problem if after divorce you still cannot figure out how to boundary your relationship appropriately.

OP — your focus on her behavior is telling. You need to focus on what YOU are doing to enable this. You can open your mouth and tell her that you need space and you want her to discuss only mediation or co parenting issues. You can change the tone of discussions to make it more formal and distant. You can tell her that you are hurt and don’t want to process emotions with her and that she needs to keep whatever she feels — positive or negative — to herself. My sense is you don’t know what you feel or want and this not being in touch with yourself is a major issue in the relationship. Be that as it may, stop complaining about her and work on yourself.

Her behavior sounds within the range of normal in that even when people divorce they have mixed feelings. It could take years for both of you to recognize the role you have played in each other’s lives. Some divorced people remain like “family” to one another, others are “friends,” others frenemies or just totally strangers. There are no rules.[/quote]

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