Reply to Did disagreement over elder care cause a permanent rift among your siblings?

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Did disagreement over elder care cause a permanent rift among your siblings?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Another example of an argument that is not over money...

Sibling sides with parent regarding avoiding residential setting with supports. Parent is prone to fits of rage and won't stay on meds. Aides cannot make them take meds. We can no longer have parent for holidays or meet parent out in public for holidays because the tantrums have traumatized one of my kids so much we got therapy and it despite getting my own therapy I cannot take another fit. Nobody wants to spend holidays with parent. If parent were in residential setting, parent would have others to eat with for holiday and we could visit, quickly leave if tantrum beginning and know staff will help parent calm down. Even better, staff can make sure parent stays on calming meds so tantrums don't happen. [/quote]

+1  Mom had opportunity to move into a new luxurious continuing care apartment with now-deceased dad but refused so both parents had to rely on never-left-home bro who, not surprisingly, sided with mom against dad. Dad gave up and withdrew reservation. Other parents we knew were very happy at this CCC. Mom turned out to have dementia, which bro refused to acknowledge and turned mom against attempts of other siblings and had her disinherit other siblings and grandchildren.  Never would have believed this would have happened to our family since we were very close growing up. Still struggling with this.[/quote]

Similar issue only never left home sister is now living in luxurious assisted living with my mother,  on my mother's dime, after my father's death.  Her little jobs pay just under what's required for free insurance. In a 1000 square foot place, my mother is relegated only to the bedroom as my sister sleeps in the living portion. Sister refuses to even entertain a job outside her low-paying field so she can be independent. My sister actually feels that 'since she's done so much, she deserves to be paid for it', even though my mother pays for the top tier of assistance in the facility. Threatens that if my mother moves to an assisted living back where main family and friends are, she will bill us for everything she's done.  What she doesn't know is that the facility is actually questioning why my sister is there and, after a couple months, is watching the situation. And I didn't even have to say a thing.

It's amazing how one sibling can really go on the attack when there's money involved. Scary even. [/quote]

The really good thing in this situation is that your sister isn’t in the family house. It’s so hard to kick the sibling out and sell the house when a parent dies.  When your mom passed your sister will get kicked out of the assisted living place. Or she will get kicked out sooner. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics