Reply to Main breadwinner for family but need to quit because of SN child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wonder if OP is dealing with severe behaviors at home & school on top of a demanding job - that can indeed start to seem impossible especially if the coparent is really dropping the ball. If OP is using significant time during the day to deal with school, insurance, therapists, then comes home to ALSO have to do most of the cooking/cleaning WHILE dealing with a tantruming rigid kid … then that could be completely overwhelming if she also has a difficult job. I’ve been in varieties of that scenario and really only get by because my job is 100% remote and flexible and takes less than 40hrs/week. if OP’s job is at all demanding it could seem impossible. [/quote]

Op here. Thank you!!!!!!!! This is so validating. I’m not wanting to come here and convince people that I’m struggling or why. Thank you for believing me. My job is entirely in person with no remote work allowed, for example, and that is part of what is making life feel impossible. I am so worn down. I’m sure there are women out there who manage, but I am not managing, for awhile I was surviving but now I can’t even say that. I’m utterly miserable and my family life feels like a disaster.[/quote]

I’m sorry op.  I’m not dealing with special needs but my dh was military and often gone and we were moving every one or two years.  I worked very part-time (like 0 to 5 hours a week) when the kids were small.  I ramped back up to 10 to 20 hrs when they were early elementary, then “full-time” but 32 hours in late elementary, and am going back to standard 40 hours now that they are in middle school.  Plus dh retired so we’re not moving anymore, which was so disruptive to our lives.

32 hours a week is a bit of a sweet spot.   It’s full-time for benefits, but you get either a free day, or a short work day all week.  I work remotely and manage my own time, so my schedule is very flexible.  Sounds like you’re in an office, so 32 hours being 4 days a week would probably be the more realistic version for you.  Is there any chance your current employer would go for that?[/quote]

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