Reply to If you paid for a big wedding for your daughter, would you help with son's wedding too?

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "If you paid for a big wedding for your daughter, would you help with son's wedding too?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]OP, if your ILs paid for your wedding, would you be okay with them making all/most of the decisions?[/b]

Did you attend SIL's wedding?  Do you know who attended and who planned (like if it was SIL and MIL making joint decisions).  By the way, isn't it a good thing that SIL chose the $3k vendor instead of the $20k vendor?  How is that something to be salty about after all these years?

You're counting other people's money.  If your DH is/was upset about this, or wished he could afford a wedding, I can see your point.  Otherwise, I find it hard to emphathize.[/quote]

I noticed OP hasn't answered this question.  You're bitter, I get it.  But be realistic and ask yourself if you would still be complaining if the ILs gave money for the wedding and called the shots too.[/quote]

Yes, I would let them make 100% of the decisions.  Location, guest list, vendor, menu.  Seriously, this is silly, my ILs didn't want anything to do with my wedding why would they want to plan anything.  I think I got my answer now.  Good to know that when the question is presented as "should you treat your kids unequally when it comes to paying for wedding", everyone agrees what a horrible parent you are if you pay for daughter's but not son's (if you had the money), but when the questions is presented as "should a DIL be upset that the ILs paid for one child's wedding in full but contributes 0 for hers" then the answer is no your ILs did no wrong.  This has been fun.  LOL.  I will be logging off now.  Those on the moral high horse, I am sure Karma will find its way to you soon.  Those who shared good insights, thank you![/quote]

I agree that what happened was unfair.  I also agree with everyone saying you need to stop ruminating on this and move on.  It's not a good look to be counting your IL's money, even if they did spend it unevenly 20 years ago at wedding time.  You have to make peace with this and move on, whatever that looks like for you (low contact, no contact, forgive and move on, just pick one).[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics