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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Most people assume you'll take off Wednesday and Friday. And that you'd want everyone to be with the baby. And you'd want to spend a holiday together. 
You may not agree with any of those assumptions, but that's where your family is coming from. [/quote]
I agree with this.  Those are not wild assumptions.  If OP can’t take any time off to spend time with them she should tell them right now (should have already told them when she said they should stay in a hotel).  [b]Either she’s very stressed out or she doesn’t like her family or it’s a combo of both.[/b]  [/quote]

OP here - ding ding ding, we have a winner! [b]And I hate conflict.[/b] So here we are. [/quote]

This isn't accurate. What you hate, as a woman, is not pleasing everyone. This is because society teaches women to be accommodating and people pleasers.

There's no conflict here. There can't be conflict when one party hasn't clearly stated their position. You never said "We are not hosting Thanksgiving this year. We will see you at Christmas." [/quote]

OP here again. You are misunderstanding me. When I say I hate conflict I mean I[b] hate having to have unpleasant conversations that will most definitely result in hurting their feelings.[/b]

I don't know why you are all placing the blame on me when I've literally done nothing to bring this upon myself. DH and I were just planning to do our own thing all along. The blame lies squarely with them for imposing. I barely ever speak 1:1 with my sister and speak to my mom once or twice a month, so she cooked up this plan in her head all by herself, booked flights for everyone and then told me after the fact, betting I wouldn't have the guts to tell them to cancel, and they were right. [/quote]

Remember this, the only people who get upset when you set a boundary are the ones who benefitted from you not having boundaries.

Nothing wrong with setting a boundary. [/quote]

DP. Absolutely. And also remember this:

OP, they are going to be mad and huffy whatever you do. That's a freeing thing to realize -- you can't control their responses, and you know they are going to be unhappy with what you have to give.

Might as well make yourself and your own little family happy. Just do it. The punishment is the same, either way. [/quote]

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