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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The OP’s responses are explaining perfectly why this woman wants nothing to do with her. Leave her alone and stop gossiping about her (yes, you are gossiping!)[/quote]

Nosy busy body would not be asking innocuous information, it would be personal information, such as "how many people have you had sex with, when and where?" or "tell me about your family issues" or "tell me about your spending habits" or or similar.[/quote]

NP but busy bodies are a lot more subtle than that. They won't start by asking your number of sexual partners, but may ask if you're married or at least have a boyfriend. If married, want to know when you're having children, what neighborhood you live in, what activities kids do, your and husband's career, where you go on vacation. If you're single they might starting asking all the time what you did over the weekend and if you're seeing someone new. And of course these can be all be perfectly legitimate questions too. The busybody uses them to build a sort of profile almost like a data analyst. And then they keep prying into things. They might ask leading questions like "is that food allowed on your diet?" when you haven't confirmed you're on a diet. They come to conclusions about your family life, sex life, and spending habits from all their little questions and conversations and fill in the blanks with their own nonsense. They might start sneering "oh, this time you went out with a new guy? What happened to the last one?"

Again, it's tricky, because these are the same questions normal people ask when making friends. The busybody is judgmental over the choices, though, and fishes for more information that can be used to create drama (or maybe invents it). Kind of like the OP who now has "several others" wondering about this secretive person.

Anyway, as to the original question, if someone is that way I would assume they are used to being judged and scrutinized over every little thing and have learned to give the bare minimum of information, even when it doesn't really matter.[/quote]

+1 There's a difference between prying manipulator and the potential friend. The potential friend will offer information about themselves.[/quote]

It seems to be contingent on intentions.  I would not assume bad intent, if the questions were inoffensive.

I do have a friend that was getting married not too long ago.  The friends fiance was nice, but there was a friend of the fiance's that was insufferable - asking personal questions of the bride to be non stop.  The bride to be (my friend) is such a nice person, and obviously the fiances friend was being a bully by asking personal questions and being inappropriate.  [That, and that guy could not find a woman to save his soul. I think he finally ended up literally bribing someone to marry him.]. Some people are just bullies.

But that is not what is happening here. Whatever the context, asking simple questions is usually seen as normal societal interaction.  One has to be fairly antisocial and cynical to assume the worst of people. I can see how it could come across as manipulative. [/quote]

(Manipulative not to answer simple and non-intrusive questions.)[/quote]

PP you're responding to here. Sorry if I wasn't clear, I meant that OP would either be a friend or manipulator based on whether or not she's offering her own info to her coworker or just grilling her coworker. I never meant that the coworker could be a manipulator. Unfortunately, it sounds like OP is the manipulator. [/quote]

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