Reply to kept something from my husband because of the stress he’s under but feel terrible

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]my son was at a party and took a pill that was not what someone said it was. It was the first time he had experimented with anything like this, he hd to go to the hospital.
He is OK now but only told me on the condition that I not tell his father. 
Eventually with my sons permission I feel like I will want/need to,
Its hard to keep to myself but I think I am doing the right thing. [/quote]

NP here. Please tell your husband. This is about safety. I know a family who lost their son 2 years ago after taking a pill at a party and the pain they continue to go through is unimaginable. If your son does this again and dies you will never forgive yourself. [/quote]

I would also tell your son ( as others have suggested) that now that you have known for a few weeks, he has had time to reflect/learn from this, HE needs to tell his dad. Preferably by x date.

My dh is my best friend and I share everything with him. He had wonderful parents as role models and always stood by the idea of “ we are a team.” My mom kept a lot from my dad as he had an explosive temper and so I thought that was the norm, but bought into the team approach.

A few years ago, my ds asked me not to share something with his dad, but I did as I had no other way to process it in the moment.

One day in a highly fraught moment I revealed I had shared with his dad. ( strike 2) He has never truly forgiven me as brings it up from time to time when he’s upset about other generic, parenting issues.

He’s older, and understands more of the husband/ wife bond, understands that parents have emotions too for which they need to process with others, but I am truly heartsick that I broke my son’s trust. In hindsight, my dh would have understood ( i think). We have a strong, loving relationship with ds and a strong, loving family who forgive each other when we mess up —but I would have done it differently.

Sharing my mistake so that may help you. Wishing you the best.
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