Reply to Love DH but he’s low sex drive…considering a business trip affair

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Excellent 25-year marriage, great kids, all left the nest.  DH has never been super high libido but now just not that into it, drinks a fair bit in the evenings which I think that saps desire as well.  Best of husbands in all other respects.  I’ve tried hard to keep in shape, pay attention to grooming etc. I do try to initiate but it’s rarely successful. Am moderately, conventionally pretty so do get some asks, especially in Mediterranean countries where guys seem more open about their interest but have never acted on it.  Traveling more now on business, and recently met someone at a work dinner (!) who has me incredibly stirred up, I mean - it was super hard for me to turn down the charming and subtle pass, when what I really wanted to say was OMG put your hands on me!  Love DH and want to stay in the marriage, but he’s not going to change at this point.  Am sorely tempted. Would be a once-or-twice a year deal at most.  WWYD?[/quote]

I have an asexual DH. No sex for 18 years. Therefore, I consider my sex life my business, and definitely not his. YMMV, especially if sex with your DH is rare as opposed to nonexistent. [/quote]

Another wife with a husband who hasn't wanted sex in about eight years - how does that work in practice?[/quote]

So strange. I have never been with a man (no matter how long we were together--husband 25 years) who wouldn't do it daily.  They are ready 'to go' anytime.[/quote]

I’m a male in my 50s.  I don’t want it every day.  I think your DH is the exception rather than the rule if he’s middle aged.   [/quote]

There’s quite a range.  I have a bit of the same issue as OP.  I desire it daily. My significant other will do it a few times a week, and I can tell they get off, but it’s not necessary for them.  They could be fine with weekly or less. So we are making it work by them meeting my needs. Unfair? Perhaps.  But what’s really the option?

So the so-called ethical non monogomy does come up as an idea.  Thing is, what’s the right way?  A casual fling that means nothing but a rush? Ok, but it’s not genuine or intimate.  Might as well look at porn.  A more detailed and ongoing relations? Meh.  Not really looking for the intertwined life.  Put my so on some drugs to increase libido?  Nope.

No good option. I feel OP’s pain. [/quote]

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