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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you have a neighbor child who doesn’t have tons of friends, they’d probably love an invitation. You could cast a wider net.[/quote]
This is always the answer. In middle school  kids get really independent and cliquey, they don't want to "include everyone" as much as they used to. I hate it too but I think they should be allowed to have their small chosen groups and those who don't want that route should have front yard parties that still include everyone. Chances are they all circle back to each other by the end of the night or separate for logistical disagreements. [/quote]

This is when parents need to parent and teach their kids to be inclusive instead of cliquey, little a-holes. I feel like I am one of the only parents who does this and it's sh-----y. Lots of talk of kindness and mental health on these boards yet we just let kids continue with the same mean, clique crap that has existed forever.

Do better. [/quote]

I know, right? Teasing, bullying, clique group behavior has never been good, but some hoe it's accepted. How do parents not know their kid is doing this? And if they do, why don't they do anything about it?[/quote]

Parents absolutely know. Social inclusion efforts at our school sounded really good on paper and blew up when they tried to implement them in real life. Actual feedback from parents: “my kids shouldn’t have to be [b]nice[/b] to people who they don’t like.”[/quote]

Of course you should be nice, kind and respectful.

But is it really that hard to distinguish between telling your kid "be friendly; be kind" and "I'm going to force you to spend the next 3 hours doing an activity you've been looking forward to with a kid you either don't know, or don't enjoy spending time with"

I expect my kids to be helpful, kind and respectful to EVERYONE.  But I'm not going to force them to spend time with someone that the don't know or don't like.  [/quote]

It's not hard to distinguish. It's also not hard to tell your kid they should do so and why. [b]Unless they're being bullied or harassed, there is ZERO reason  your kid cannot include a kid for a few hours of trick or treating. Zero.[/b] And the fact you think it is, well, you are part of the problem. As long as your kid is included, who GAF about anyone else's right? Nice attitude to pass on. [/quote]

Incorrect. 
Years ago there was a girl in my daughters MS class that used to HUMP TREES (yes you read that right) among other strange things. She didn’t have many friends.  There is no way in hell I’d force my kid to spend 2 hours ToTing with someone who stops to hump trees.  I’m not ruining my daughters night in an effort to be inclusive. No thanks. [/quote]

This.  100% this.

Don't make fun.  Don't be mean.  But I'm not going to force you to spend time with a tree humper.

Do you include the beer-bellied slob who spends his Saturdays gambling college football in our book club?  Probably not.  And you'd probably be resentful if someone forced you to include him.[/quote]
I don’t know how my suggestion to cast a wider net got turned into “invite the weirdest kid you know.” My kids can name neighbor kids who don’t share their interests and won’t ever be close friends, but who are sweet natured. They may find these kids a little boring or immature or fixated on narrow interests, but ToT doesn’t require much conversation. It’s definitely an activity you can enjoy with someone who’s more of an acquaintance than a close friend.[/quote]

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