Reply to I am an independent person, not just a conduit to my kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can definitely see how this is annoying, but I'm not with you on the waiting a month to see a newborn first grandchild.  They should be told of the impending birth when labor starts, just like your mom.  Then they can get there as quickly as possible with a little help for logistics from your husband and meet the baby at the first feasible opportunity.  Denying them access while your mother stays and helps 24-7 is just cruel.

Plus, you just never know what help you will need.  I had a very colicky baby, and even though my mom and mil are both bat-sh*t crazy, they we both there with me, taking 15 minute shifts walking around with a screaming baby all night.

To those new moms, it takes a village.[/quote]

Not OP but no to all of this.  The mom gets to decide.  I personally didn’t need “a village.”  I wanted my mom and that’s all I needed for the first few weeks.  We certainly told the in laws when I went in labor, but they weren’t invited to the hospital and waited until I invited them over to meet the baby around week 3 or 4.  And that’s ok!  And when my sons have kids, I certainly wouldn’t expect my future DILs to invite me at the birth, I’ll wait until she is ready and be willing to assist as needed.[/quote]

Exactly. My MIL, who raised three of her own babies, was perfectly happy to visit at the hospital and later at our home and leave the care of my twins and me to my mother. That's what worked for everyone and there were no hard feelings. When my SIL had her babies, she wanted MIL there not her husband's mother. [/quote]

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