Reply to Help settle a debate about saying grace

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You don't have to respect their beliefs, but there is no way to respectfully ask people to refrain from praying. They will be offended. There's a big difference between not being religious and being so offended by other people's religion that you fee compelled to prevent them from practicing it in your presence.[/quote]

Exactly.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I invite people I care about to enjoy a meal with me at my home or a restaurant, I want them to be comfortable and I want to enjoy time in their presence.

At home, being a host isn’t about the host imposing their rules on their guests. The host is supposed to accommodate their guests.

I don’t tell anyone what they can or cannot do in regards to their beliefs. If I invited a vegan to my home, am I going to insist that they eat meat because I do and my wishes are running the get together, because I am the host? No, I accommodate my guest by serving vegan dishes, because I invited my vegan guest to dinner. When I invite someone to my house, I am making a huge effort to provide them with a nice memory.

I consider it a privilege for my friends to feel comfortable around me and to live their lives authentically.

If I care about someone enough to schedule a meal with them as a pleasant activity, the last thing I am going to do is stress out over prayer and who tells who what to do, etc.
You are going to make a big deal and ruin a get together over something that isn’t a big deal? Somehow I don’t think people who would do this really respect or care about their friends or family.

And remember: the host accommodates the guests, not the other way around. [/quote]

Disagree in these circumstances

If you personally as a host want to accommodate your vegan guests by planning a vegan centric menu then that’s great for you. Nevertheless if a vegan is invited to a dinner as one of a larger group it’s just plain rude for them to expect/request the host prepare a vegan-centric meal or to make a big show over their diet restrictions during the meal. The same principle is true for an invited dinner guest expecting everyone to accommodate them in observing a collective prayer before a meal rather than just discretely saying a silent prayer themselves.

On the flip side, as a vegan hosting a meal you shouldn’t be expected to prepare meat dishes for your carnivore loving friends and should feel free to serve them a meal adapted to your diet, just as you should be free to continue to observe a tradition of saying a collective grace before a meal in your own home even if guests are present m.[/quote]

I think the equivalent situation here would be for the vegan to bring their own food which is appropriate if the host has not prepared any or enough vegan food (say, the guest wants something with protein and not just lettuce and carrots). If the food is not vegan, the vegan cannot eat, due to their beliefs. Similarly, the religious person does not feel right eating without saying a prayer thanking God. In both cases, the vegan/prayerful person should be respectful and quiet, not making a big show. However, they should be able to say a verbal prayer if they wish, or explain they have their own tofu dish, and everyone should respect them with no obligation to participate.[/quote]

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