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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m gay. One of my sisters is a lesbian. Our other siblings (we have a large family) are all straight. On one hand I say don’t feel ashamed. On the other hand this is your legitimate feeling and I don’t want to dismiss this, but this has nothing to do with your kids. You need to see a therapist as to why you feel this way and work through it.  And obviously never share this with them. [/quote]

+100 to this.  It's the answer.  Therapy.  OP sounds like she's in the "I'm fine with gay people as long as they're not my kids" camp.  This is homophobia.

I'm assuming OP is gen X like me.  It takes time to let go of the shame.  Therapy helps.  I needed it for myself.  We grew up in a time where the height of gay acceptance (and apparently "comedy") was talking about gay people on Seinfeld and following up with "not that there's anything wrong with that.   
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHOTnC_KbSc[/youtube]

We grew up in a time where Ellen was cancelled because she came out as a lesbian.
https://www.thepinknews.com/2016/11/28/this-is-how-ellens-show-got-cancelled/

We grew up in a culture where "the bad guy" in a movie is either caught at the end of a movie or killed by the police in a violent shoot out.  Unless they're a trans woman.  In that case, the "bad girl" (in this case) is humiliated, stripped down to her underwear (basically sexuality assaulted), and people puke because they kissed her.  This was the height of comedy in the 90's.
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCwjyTg5p2g[/youtube]

This is why so many in gen X feel shame and embarrassment about being queer, knowing queer people, or having queer kids.  You were socialized into this environment.  It was systemic homophobia that was embedded in our daily lives.[/quote]

I understand the systemic impacts that continue today. Obviously a big area for improvement. But things are getting better. The best NCAA Division 1 cross country runner - which means he is on the edge of being top rank world class - has openly come out as gay. It has been a complete non-event in the cross country and track world. It just isn’t an issue. His performances certainly are always discussed, which, as stellar as they are, makes sense. The kid is tough as nails and has limited sprint speed and grinds his competition away. I wonder if this contributes to his great reputation without any mention of his orientation because trust me, talented men and women in the sport think they can grind the competition into dust but incredibly few ever come close. Trans performers who go through puberty as males and compete in women’s events by contrast attract a lot of negative attention, and the IAAF is not permitting them to compete. So conflating the two groups is not helpful to gay people. I met this athlete at a UVA competition last month I was a good D1 guy 40 years ago so these guys are kind enough to talk to me - he was watching his team win as he is so freaking good he doesn’t race until mid October. What a smart delightful and extraordinary kid and again in talking to him his sexuality did not matter a bit. His team and his school which is ridiculously dominant feel the same way. Anecdotal? Sure. But there is progress. [/quote]

Someone says something about trans people. Well then, you're welcome to petition every single sports league to ban transgender players. Discussion about sports doesn't have to be brought into everything about gay or trans people. Sports are barely a part of any trans person's life. I'd wager you've made more posts on DCUM discussing trans women in sports than you've met trans women that play sports. I know dozens of trans women and zero of them play sports.[/quote]

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