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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DW makes more despite my many efforts to escape my GS15 job nothing pays better for my role.

I do a lot around the house but I know she wishes she could quit, but she doesn’t want to shift to a GS15 lifestyle.

The worst is I’m a very involved parent, but after trying to be the “play date” dad and “room parent “ dad, realize it has to be the mom, because it’s 99% of the time the moms and being the dad makes it hard for our kids. [/quote]

I’d commiserate that taking the lead on some of the social aspects of parenting can be harder as a dad but being the default parent is a lot more than setting up playdates or volunteering in the classroom.  When you say you handle a lot of the stuff around the house does that just entail standard day to day chores or are you being proactive in taking on other aspects of being the default parent without being asked to do so)

[b](Ie are you regularly going through your kids closets to weed out too small/worn out/weather inappropriate clothes and buying replacements? Are you personally tracking when medical/dental appointments need to be scheduled and doing so?) Are you researching summer camps/childcare/extracurricular activities and tracking sign up procedures and deadlines and filling out related paperwork? Are you regularly monitoring the kids’ school assignments and handling classroom asks to bring in materials/baked goods or dress up for themed events)?[/b]

I think most wives would be thrilled to have a husband actually taking the lead in many/most of these areas while bringing in a GS-15 salary. (Even though it tends to just be the default expectation for a similarly positioned woman whose husband out earns her).
[/quote]

PP who makes 3X what my DH does here, and this is what I mean by being the default parent.  It's about carrying the mental load.

I do not know any fathers who handle these things.  I'm sure they exist, but I've never encountered even one.[/quote]

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