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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Agree that there’s no need to threaten a child. You say directly, “I need you to ask me for help getting a snack. Please do not go into our cabinets by yourself again, okay?” Then if they keep ignoring you, you just don’t invite them over. I’ve never had kids go through my kitchen without one of my kids, except to grab an apple out of the fruit bowl (that’s what it’s there for), but I always offer snacks proactively. [/quote]

That's literally what the previous poster said, which she was villified for.  She said she would tell the kids not to root around, give them a second warning, and then they wouldn't be invited back.  The only difference between your approach is that you dont inform the child of the potential consequence of their actions (aka "threatening" them) before punishing them by not inviting them back.  [/quote]

I can see your perspective on this and you are entitled to be strict and controlling and assign punishment to other people’s children and have whatever rules you want in your home. But let’s be honest with ourselves that that’s how you are, and that there are other ways you could be that are less controlling, judgmental, and tolerant of the mistakes of small children who may not have as much self control or background manners knowledge as you’d like them to have. Feel free to systematically alienate your kid’s friends so everyone abides by your personal set of rules in your fiefdom at all times. You’re allowed to do what you want. But there are ways to respectfully shape kids’ behavior that do not include threats and punishments. [/quote]

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