Reply to Dating and Assaults

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "Dating and Assaults"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I dated, I was abducted by a date and forced to have sex for fear of my life after the date was over. That was the only time I was raped on a date. I was also assaulted by a date once, also in a car. He was driving on a highway and I couldn't safely get out, which I think is why he did it there.

I was also groped in a shared cab by a stranger just a couple of years ago after attending a gala.

I don't think it's rare at all, but I do think that many young women confuse "rape" with [b]"I drank too much and now I wish I hadn't gone along with that."[/b]

It's also become a group bonding thing to share rape and assault stories with friends. I've heard this with my friends and I don't participate. I just listen. I've never shared what happened to me for this reason. It's not a thing to bond over. It's a thing to recover from. I'm doing well now and I don't want to think about it regularly. What's the point?

I know that some women feel better when they know they are not alone, but that doesn't work for everyone.

[/quote]

There is no evidence that false accusations of rape are made in greater numbers than any other crime. And statements like the bolded a) minimize these womens' experience when you know nothing about them, and b) are exactly why more women don't come forward. And it's gross. Do we say this about other crimes? "I drank too much and wish I hadn't [----]" and then dismiss what happened? No, we don't.

I also take issue with the use of "bonding." I would call it healing. I held in my molestation by an uncle, my molestation by a family friend's brother, and numerous other instances that don't rise to the level of "rape" for decades. Decades. My trauma, feelings, shame only started to lift when I started talking about with people, including people who had been through the same thing. That may not be healing for you but it is for many. Calling it "bonding" is not accurate or helpful. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics