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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So I’m the OP and thought readers would appreciate an update.  I met the husband for dinner and drinks earlier tonight.  He told me he’s been “living a lie” for the last five or so years and had been “stepping out” on the wife with various women.   He’s recently decided he “has feelings” for one of them - more than 20 years younger than his wife - and decided to come clean.

She had zero idea it was coming and is devastated.

It was a tough dinner.

So, like I said, you never know. [/quote]

It’s hard to understand how men can knowingly do something so harmful and devastating to the parent of their children.[/quote]

They don’t have kids.  [/quote]

Then he really didn’t have a reason to not just end it before he cheated. Not that having kids would have made it right, but it is a more complicated situation. He sounds like a loser. [/quote]

So OP, you're going to stay friends with him because why exactly? He's your longtime friend but told you he's been stepping out and auditioning replacements for five years?

[b]You do understand that if you stay friends with him that you're endorsing his behavior, right?[/b] And landing another slap against the wife because, well, the good friend is more fun and/or more prosperous and/or has good business connections and/or I don't want it to be awkward at our next college reunion etc.

It would be quite a show of support for the wife if she were to learn you abandoned your friendship because you condemned his betrayal of her.[/quote]

That's not true at all.

He can condemn his behavior without entirely cutting him out of his life as a friend.

Shunning him over this is a bit of an overreaction from someone that isn't personally impacted[/quote]

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