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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "Do you miss your ‘babies’?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes. I look at my 40 year old dc and yearn til it hurts. He will always be MY baby. His wife will never replace me.[/quote] WTF. His wife isn’t his MOM. But she IS the most important female in his life, or should be.[/quote] DP but I think about this with my son a lot, it makes it extra hard. I want him to get married and love his wife more than me, that's natural and healthy. It just makes it all that harder knowing he'll never love me as much as he does right now. At least with my daughters I know it will always kind of be the same dynamic. [/quote] This seems weird to say (or think). Oedipal. Mom-child relationship should be a totally separate thing from spouse-spouse relationship. you’re saying even if your daughters marry, you will still be the most important person in their life? What if they marry a woman?[/quote] Do you have a son?[/quote] I am a new poster. I have a son. This shit is weird this person is saying. I do not ever think about how my son loves me most and someday will replace me with a wife. I do not ever think about how I will always be the center of my daughter's world. You all are sincerely setting yourself up for some hard times when you have adult children. They WILL have their own families and you WILL NOT be the center of their lives and this is normal and healthy and if you can't handle this they will cut your ass out of their lives.[/quote] I agree wholeheartedly. My job as a parent is to launch my children into adulthood so they can have their own families. I will never love my parents or as much as they love me or think about them as much as they think about me. However through having my own children I can understand how my parents feel about me because that’s the kind of unconditional unwavering love I feel for my own children. Similarly my kids love me, but it is naturally lopsided. Hopefully someday, if they choose to have kids, they will experience the love I have for them through their love of their own children. I wouldn’t want my kids to love me in the same way I love them - that is not healthy. Acknowledging that someday my sons’ primary relationships will be with their partners doesn’t replace me or invalidate my role in their lives. [/quote] I'm the PP you guys are responding to. I think you're misunderstanding what I'm saying. I have a 3 and 4 year old. I'm the center of their universe. Of course as they grow up this will change, as it should! I'm not trying to keep it that way, that would be overbearing and weird. I'm saying I understand that as they get older the center of their universe will be their spouses and children. I can appreciate how special this time is because I know it's finite. I'm saying exactly what you are. [/quote]
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