Reply to Do you miss your ‘babies’?

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[quote=Anonymous]I am not very sentimental, so this is not an issue as much for me. My kids are basically the same ages and I love these elementary school years. My kids are starting to be self-sufficient, responsible, and helpful. They can have interesting conversations. They still hug me and hold my hand. They still want to hang out with me. Hopefully they will always come to me for advice and want yo hug me, but I know they will naturally pull away and create space between us because that is developmentally normal. Each new skill and each milestone is a step towards successfully launching them into adulthood.

I do see a lot of moms my age who are grieving the “baby” stage and I think it is one or both of two things.

First it’s grieving that your kids are not wholly dependent on you anymore. Forget diapers and naps - my kids trim their own nails and set up their own play dates. They manage their own schedules to pack soccer gear or their band instrument in the morning. They make their own breakfast. If you don’t have your own identity, friends, and hobbies as a mom, you don’t feel “needed” anymore.

Secondly if you had kids in your late 30s and they are now in late elementary grades, your friends likely span from those still having babies to those in the early stages of menopause. If you are closer to the menopause crowd, you may be grieving the end of your fertility and to some extent your youth. I’d love to be 28 again - but I have NO interest in changing diapers or cleaning a high chair again until I am a grandmother.[/quote]

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